There are always torturing cries of sadness racing through my heart and mind in your absence. There is always an unutterable amount of pain and sorrow that lies within my heart. There is always an inexpressible longing to see your face again to touch and squeeze and hug you. There is always a deep and poignant emotional distress that blankets a world you are no longer in. There is always a strong desire to talk football with you and this time I'd really pay attention! There is always an overwhelming regret that continuously eats away at my heart for all the missed opportunities of your life that will never be. There is always a sense of drowning in the turbulent waters of grief as the realization that you're not coming back begins to take hold of my heart. "And you know what?" There is this broken shattered heart that can never be mended until I see you again. "And I must say" all this Sean because you are no longer here.

I love and miss you so very very much.
Mum xxx

‘Stay close to us and please continue to send us the signs that we need to go on.’

Today you are twenty four
If only we could see you one more time
If only we could have one more hug
If only we could have one more smile
but then we know it would never be enough
it would only leave us wishing for one more.
I look deep into my heart and try to see you as you would be today
but to us left behind you will be forever 18.
So as you look down today
Please send us a kiss with a gentle breeze
and a smile on the wings of a beautiful butterfly... 
Until we meet again.

Love Mum & Dad xxx

I miss you so much sean, words really cant describe how much you mean to me. I always think about you and our memories of when you used to take the mick out of me, calling me chunky and beefy log etc.. and also when you picked me up from school after my cross country training and you didnt want to put your glasses on infront of the boys and you drove down the road loud so that people would notice you and your car, then when we got to the end you put your glasses back on :) you always put family first, like when i was in your car you got your mate to sit in the back so i could sit in the front with you. i will never forget any of our memories i will always hold them close to my heart.
i remember on the night before you went out... we had french stick, mum's homemade pasta salad & chicken for tea, and you wanted a bit before you went out, you wanted the end of the french stick and i said can i have it please, and you lovingly gave me the end piece instead of having it yourself, and that was one of the last times i saw you, that shows how generous and kind you really are. I remember one night when you came in after being out and you came up to my room with a smile on your face asking if i heard you and your loud car come home, you always had a smile on your face and you always had that cap on that i got you :) which is now in the school sixth form as a memorial plaque, it does make me feel special knowing that it was me that gave you that hat, as you adored it.
The one thing i treasure the most is that big frog sand toy that you bought for me, you spent your last couple of pounds on that for me, borrowing a couple quid off becky, you always thought about me, you are so a kind and generous brother and i cant thankyou enough for the great memories you gave me.
They were only a couple of my memories of me and you, im so glad that you are my brother sean and i really miss you and love you so much, i cant wait for the way we meet again, i know your always around me with the signs you send us all.
i will never forget you! you are always in my mind and heart.
Lots of love from your little sister xxxxxxx


Here is a poem for you..

Please come home,
I miss you so.
More then you could,
Possibly know.
~
Things have changed,
Since you've been gone.
No one to talk to
And no shoulder to cry on.
~
Our family and your friends
We all cried so much.
We miss you and your laugh
You're voice and soft touch.
~
I miss you and your smile.
I could add to this list,
Of everything I miss,
But there's no end, it doesn't exist.
~
I wish I could see you,
Just one last chance,
To see you smile,
Even if its just a glance.
~
I wish I could tell you
How much you meant to me
Just one last time,
Before you were set free.
~
Your life was too short
You had so much to live for
You were just eighteen,
And had places to explore.
~
Mum isn't the same
Without you in her life.
The emptiness in her eyes
Contains so much pain and strife.
~
Our brother is so sad
He can't cope with the pain.
A place in his heart,
Is where you'll always remain.
~
You have a place in my heart
I love you now, I love you still
I always have
And always will
~
I admire your strength
I admire your smile
I admire how you made
So many lives worthwhile.
~
The last breath you took,
You had a smile on your face.
And with that, I thank God
You're in a better place
~

While we are apart ♥ღ♥

My darling Sean, distance may separate us, but my heart will never let you go, for I carry a part of you with me always. It keeps me going through the day. It brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. It is a part of my dreams that I live for and cherish. That part is my wish, my only one, to see you again soon. I know that wish will someday come true. But for now, I will hold in my heart, the memory of you and never let you go.

P.S I hope Aunty Jean is with you and at peace, now that her fight with cancer is over. Please stay close and watch over us. Sending love and thoughts...Mum xxx

Today is my birthday
Celebrate my life with you
And remember the good times
Not the bad and
Do not be sad;
Look up towards the sun
And catch every ray of light
Upon your cheek.
For I am there with you.

Today is my birthday
Be happy for me
I lived a short but full, happy life
I had the pleasure of love
And the joy of my family.
Do not be sad
Look up towards the stars
And catch each twinkle
In your heart.
For I am there with you

Today is my birthday
My legacy is not wealth
Or mighty belongings,
My legacy is you and your life.
Spend it wisely and carefully
Guard it always
Do not be sad
Feel the wind on your face
And in your hair
And know that I loved you
For I am there with you in your laughter
And in your hearts.

Today is my birthday
Learn to live again without me,
Take my strength with you
For you are not alone.
Do not be sad
Feel the rain on your face
Feel all life's treasures and
Know that you are alive!
At each step of the way
I will help you
For I am with you always
Until we meet again.

Today is my birthday...

This day will be a celebration of the short time you were here. You will always be remembered with great love and many tears. But to only feel pain and sorrow would not be fair to you. Your life meant so much more to us, more than words could say. You were here so briefly, I wonder if you knew all the ways you’ve touched our world and our hearts and everyone who knew you since the day God called you home. Now my child, you’re an angel with your heavenly Father above, we see not only what we’ve lost but our capacity of love. There will always be a big void in our life and a hole in our hearts that will never heal. Our souls will grieve forever. Will we forget or stop loving you? No! Not now…not ever. As this day is upon us, oh, how our hearts still hurt. But even as I mourn your death, we will always celebrate your birth. It was the happiest day of our lives.

Love & miss u always Sean...Mum & Dad xxx

"SEAN"

New Year
The New Year comes
When all the world is ready
For changes resolutions ~
Great beginnings.

For us, to whom
That stroke of midnight means
A missing child remembered
For us the new year comes
More like another darkness.

But let us not forget
That this may be the year
When love and hope and courage
Find each other somewhere
In the darkness
To lift their voice and speak:
Let there be light.

Thinking Of You This Christmas

Sean we will light a candle for you tonight...

This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

This candle represents our courage - to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other and to change our lives.

This candle is in your memory - the times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did and the caring and joy you gave.

This candle is the light of love - day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us.

And this candle is the light of hope. It reminds us of love and memories or you that are ours forever. May the glow of the flame be our source of hopefulness now and forever - we love you!

Mum, Dad, Mark & Chloe

XXXX

Monday 3rd March 2008 marks four years since that awful night of your accident, the day you went to heaven. In some ways it feels like only yesterday, and in other ways an eternity! Your lil bro Mark is now exactly the same age you were the day we lost you, tomorrow he becomes older than you. I miss you so much, you had such an incredible light and energy about you, my heart just aches to see your face again. I would give anything just to have one last hug again…to hear your voice…to see your heart warming smile…and most of all to be able to talk to you. One of those long talks we always had, but of course I know that will never be until my time on earth is done when we will see each other again…Oh what a day that will be! I find comfort knowing that one sweet day we will be together again. In the meantime I know I must find a way to continue this journey without you to keep growing and living-even if I don’t feel like it. I know you wouldn’t want grief to be my constant companion so I strive to embrace life once again, and try and make the best of my life as I know it’s what you would want for all of us left remaining. Sean I have been doing my best for Mark and Chloe who are here and need me. I have this little affirmation that I have held onto to help keep me going since losing you…

I live for those who love me, for those who know me true, for Sean in heaven above me, and the good I can do.

Sean we will light a candle for you tonight...please be with me and guide me,
‘LOVE’ you forever! Mum xxx

SEAN

Beautiful memories are wonderful things, they last to the longest day, they never wear out, they never get lost, and can never be given away. To some you may be forgotton, to others a part of the past. But to us who loved and lost you, your memory will always last!

Sending you loads of love & hugs darling (xxxx)

I'll be thinking of you Sean, just like i think of you everyday. And as we tuck into our xmas dinner I know you'll be smiling down on us. I miss you darling,and Christmas will never be the same without out you, but i will try and enjoy the day and make the most of things!
Love always
Mum xxx

To my big brother Sean.
(Who never got to hear what I felt in my heart) 

I never did tell you how much I loved you and now it’s too late! There are so many things that I wish I had said and because I always expected you to be around, I never said them. 

I took life for granted, and in a way I think you did too!
There is no beginning and no end to the very special memories of you. Though you are not here to see and touch, your spirit will live with me up until the day I too join you, in the place you now call home.

Love u loads...Mark xxx